I either make you money or save you money.
Most businesses don't have a marketing problem. They have a profit problem. I find what's costing you — broken funnels, email lists earning nothing, campaigns running on autopilot with nobody watching — and fix it.
Most marketing spend is a leak, not an investment.
Agencies charge £2,500/month and hand your account to a junior. Ad spend burns on creative nobody stops for. Email lists sit there. Every month the report arrives — impressions, reach, engagement — and nothing actually moves.
The businesses that win aren't spending more. They're spending it on someone who sees the whole picture — not a team of specialists who can't see past their own invoice.
"You work with me directly. Not a junior. Not an account manager. Me."
Six services. One person. Full accountability.
Paid Ads
Campaigns that pay for themselves. Creative produced, audience targeted, results reported every week — not every month.
Meta · Google · TikTok
Email Marketing
Klaviyo flows that run while you sleep. Welcome series, abandoned cart, post-purchase, win-back. Set up once, earning forever.
Klaviyo · Mailchimp · ActiveCampaign
Social Media
Strategy, content creation and paid social working together. Not a calendar of filler — content with a job to do.
Instagram · Facebook · TikTok
Content Creation
Photography and short-form video for North East businesses. The assets that make ads work and socials grow.
Sony A7C II · Half-day from £350
Marketing Strategy
A diagnosis, not a brand document. Where is money leaking? What would change the numbers in 90 days? A plan you can actually execute — not file away.
Audit → Plan → Execute
Retention & Growth
The cheapest customer you'll ever get is the one who already bought from you. Automations, re-engagement sequences and lifecycle campaigns that work on the customers you already have.
Email · Ads · Lifecycle
Results, not promises.
Miss Elephant · Chester-le-Street · Hospitality
A Chester-le-Street café with great food and no online presence. Here's month one.
Casa Rosa · Birtley · Hospitality
An award-winning Birtley takeaway that had nothing to show for it online. Changed that.
Not every business is right for this. Here's how to tell.
- Ecommerce, hospitality, beauty or wellness
- Turning over £500k–£5M
- Want one person accountable for the full picture
- Ready to invest properly — not looking for cheap
- North East England (preferred, not exclusive)
- Looking for a one-off piece of work
- Expecting overnight results with minimal spend
- Want to stay hands-off and see results in week one
I keep the client list small deliberately. The average relationship is 2–3 years — not because of contracts, but because the work compounds. Month three looks different from month one. Month twelve is a different business.
If you want someone to run one campaign and disappear, I'm not it. If you want someone who treats your budget like it's their own — that's what this is.
30-day rolling. No lock-in. You stay because it works.
You deal with me. Not a team. Not a junior. Me.
Crunchy Ads is a one-person operation. The person who built a perfume brand to £1M in a year, hit 14.5× ROAS for a UK fashion brand, and has never had a client relationship under two years.
I've been doing this since 2020 — across ecommerce, hospitality, beauty and wellness. I've managed in-house teams, run budgets from £500 to £50k a month, and built brands from nothing.
I keep the client list small on purpose. When something isn't working, there's no account manager in the way. Just me — and fixing it is my problem.
Here's exactly how it starts.
One honest conversation
I look at what you've got and tell you what's actually wrong — and whether I can fix it. No pitch, no deck, no follow-up sequence.
Find the leaks
Full audit of your ads, email, content and systems. You see exactly where money is going and what it's producing. Usually this alone is worth the call.
Fix it
Campaigns built or rebuilt. Flows set up. Creative produced. The plan executed — not filed away.
Revenue moves
Plain-English reporting. You see what's working and what's not. Every month builds on the last.
Straight answers.
Find out what's costing you.
Book a free 30-minute call. I'll look at your ads, email and content — and tell you honestly what's wrong and what it would take to fix it.